Over the past couple of years, I have found my life changing in ways that I would never have imagined. I have been on top of the mountain praising God with everything I have, and I have been stuck so low in a struggle of brokenness. I found myself asking, “Why? Why me?” and “What next, God? Where is my life going?” Through it all, God has woven into my core a spirit of optimism that I can hold onto even in the valleys that I come to.
I used to think I had everything figured out, but over the past year, my goals for my life have changed entirely. God brought me to circumstances that I could have never guessed would happen to me. God instilled in me a passion for youth, a passion for handicapped children, and a passion for the lost. I found myself in a place where I had nothing figured out, and I was overwhelmed with all the possibilities. I didn’t know how they would ever all fit together. I had no clue what my future held. My goals for my life had changed drastically. God opened my mind to so many new possibilities, and I finally realized that there is so much more to this life than I know.
Well the truth is that I still have nothing figured out. At times it’s overwhelming to have so many possibilities running around in my head. I went through about a two month period where I was so broken because I was holding it all on my shoulders and relying on myself. I finally realized that there are so many great things happening around me all the time, and even though I can’t see them, that doesn’t mean they aren’t there. It feels so good to trust that God is working in me right now to make me into who He wants me to be – a woman that will serve him with my whole heart.
Even in the midst of pain and struggling, when I couldn’t feel God, He was there. He is always there, just like the sun is still there even when it isn’t shining. I believe that He is my Hope and my Future, and that is what I hold on to. It is so amazing to know that EVERYTHING will work for the good of those who love the Lord.
It is so funny that you talk about your goals changing. I used to want to sing on broadway and make CDs and such. Once someone told me, “Codi I love you, but God has bigger plans for you than that.” I did not realize at the time how right she was. That has always stuck with me. I have finally given up my life to God, and I have given Him complete control. And you know what? My goals and dreams have changed. My goals and dreams for my life have become God’s goals and dreams for me if you will. This life is not about me making a name for myself, but rather glorifying the name of Jesus in all that I do! Amen!
When I was younger I thought that I had my life planned out, little did I know God had other plans for me! It took some time to give total control over to God, but ever since I have, I have not regretted a thing because God knows what is best for me. Thank you for sharing what God has placed on your heart!