COLLEGE PARK, GA 30337

Hey friends and family:

Just wanted to let everyone know that we have safely arrived in Cape Town for our debrief. This city is gorgous. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us these last two months. Our trip has been phenomenal and we look forward to arriving home next week to tell you all about it.
Blessings,

Rebecca

I was meant to post this last week and my time ran out as the post was saving! I shouldn't have cut it so close. At any rate, so sorry for those I told that I would post then. I got permission to post now, but this will definitely be the last thing I put up while here in J-Bay.

I truly have mixed emotions about returning to America. With the opportunities before me pertaining to my education at Grace, I have no doubts that I am meant to finish out the next three years there, or at least to stay there until I am finished with my degrees. However, where I am intended to be during the summers and where I will be in ministry beyond that is a complete unknown to me.

With all the contacts and friends with whom God has gifted me up until now, I categorize people according to country and would be pleased to see them again, but can live without them. It may sound harsh, but it is true that not everyone you meet will be of the same importance to you. Leaving here, though, I am unsettled. I have come to love people with such fervor that I do not feel my life would be of the same quality unless lived with them. I have heard of this in the context of romantic relationships, but this is totally platonic, sibling/family/friend love that has overtaken my heart and arrested me. At the same time as I desire to be where they are, I am aware that one's ministry is not dependent on the people specifically in that area. But when I shared this with the pastor of Ithemba--the church where we've been attending--he said that it was because God was not done with me here and that I would be back. Shortly thereafter, the pastor of Deo Doxa--the church that planted Ithemba--said that I must come back. I don't want to ignore God, but I'm still skeptical...

 

God has been working in me and through me in amazing ways, though, while I've been here. I've been teaching some girls in the threes and fours to spell in English, and have been able to incorporate Bible as well into the curriculum. All of them professed belief in Christ, have Bibles and are excited to use them. Praise God, for He is GOOD!

 

I wanted to share a prayer that God gave me this Friday, sorry it's a bit long:

God, I remember sitting in TOL with Lindsey and Shannon being awestruck that they could pray to you for brokenness, and being terrified of doing the same. I praise and worship you that you had mercy on me; that in your steadfastness your compassion remained over me and you softened my heart to you. God, being a bare, ugly plant is such a good place to be, because the bad/dead limbs are pruned off and the places where growth is most necessary glare forth with all obviousness. GOd, continue to prune me. Don't let me be filled with your wisdom and your nature. Ephesians 1:4-5 says that you chose me to be holy and blamesless in your sight. Because you predestined me in love to be adopted as your daughter. You chose to be brought in your family, so I am in your family--an heir. My identity is no longer tied to condemnation, sin and death, but redemption, holiness and life. Yet if I am to truly follow in your footsteps and conform myself to your patter, and not that of this world, then I have to be an imitator of God, because I am one of his dearly loved children (Eph. 5:1). Therefore, my attitude should be the SAME--the exact, unadultered, unmodified, true-to-the-original duplicate--of Christ Jesus: who, being in very nature GOd, did not consider equality with God something to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the very nature of a servant, being made in human likeness (Philippians 2:5-7). If I am to imitate this behavior, I cannot deviate and throw in modifications to compensate for areas that make me uncomfortable and then justify those alterations with arguments about culture changes, setting of time and place, et cetera etc. etc. I must consider it pure joy whenever I face trials of many kinds-- Jesus faced every trial imaginable, but stood firm in his Holy perfection, guarding himself with Scripture, utilizing the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God (Gal. 6:17). He was silent in the face of his oppressors, led away like a lamb to the slaughter, and I, too, need not stand up for myself in the face of those who desire to contend with me and bring forth altercations. God will defend me, and if I don't believe that, then where is my faith and trust in him? If I say I must use the words of man, then have I not robbed the Word of God of its power? When Paul preached to the Corinthians, he did not do so with eloquence or superior wisdom as he testified about God (1 Cor. 2:1). His message and preaching were not with wise and persuasive words, but with a demonstration of the Spirit's power, so that their faith wouldn't rest on men's wisdom, but on God's power (vs. 4-5). Why should I try to justify or save myself by my own power, when God can be so much more glorified by working his power through my weakness? What then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all -- how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies (Romans 8:31-33). So even if I am wrongly accused, or see that others are wrong on an inconsequential matter, I surrender the right to be right. If my relationship with one causes another to stumble for the sake of that one I will surrender my right to that relationship. I will put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that my ministry will not be discredited. Rather, as a servant of God I will commend myself in every way: in great endurance; in troubles, hardships and distresses; in beatings, imprisonments and riots; in hard work, sleepless nights and hunger; in purity, understanding, patience and kindness in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love; in truthful speech and in the power of God; with weapons of righteousness in the right hand and in the left; through glory and dishonor, bad report and good repot; genuine, yet regarded as impostors; known, yet regarded as unknown; dying, and yet we live on; beaten, and yet not killed; sorrowful, yet always rejoicing; poor, yet making many rich; havingn othing, and yet possessing everything (1 Cor. 6:3-10). By my actions and my righteousness in the face of every circumstance will I be justified, not by words or agruments. Not by a rightounessness I have achieved or earned by any means, but that by your grace, God.

 I am to live such a good life that, though ungodly people accuse me of doing wrong, they may see my good deeds and praise and glorify you on the day You visit us (1 Peter 2:12). Ultimately, I am not to shine through myself, but you are to shine through me. THe Corinthaisn were faithful and wise. They were so wise that they even put up with fools and with anyone who enslaved them, exploited them, took advantage of them, pushed themselves forward or slapped them in the face. To my shame, I admit that I am too weak for that! (1 Corinthians 11:19-21). My nature is to prove myself right and to humiliate my opponent by refuting their argument persuasively and with sound evidence; to demonstrate my superiority and strength over them, because You made me and athletic, articulate being and I want to use that for my own glory, justification, and the furthering of my good, my power, my popularity, and my strength! And yet, for all my academia and intelligence; for all my knowledge of your Word and its stories, ethics, truths and morality; for all the growth you've enabled me to have these past two months here; for all the grace You've given me daily in dealing and living with 21 others and getting up around 5am every day to meet with you; and in your grace of giving me these great revelations and mentoring relationships where I'm daily poured into with wisdom; in spite of all these thigns, if treated as described in 1 Cor. 11: 19-21, I would retaliate and justify myself! I would not calmly sit back and let my life be its own testimony whilst You, Jesus, are my justification. No! I would fight for myself, lose my patience and become angry. I would chuck 2 Peter 3:14-15 to the wind--it and its "Since you are looking forward to a new heaven, a new earth, and the home of righteousness, make every effort to be found spotless, blameless and at peace with God, bearing in mind that our Lor'd patience means salvation."

One of my greatest enduring weaknesses is my inability to surrender my pugnacious, self-righteous, argumentative, correcting spirit. It is so difficult for me to be at peace, resting in God, being renewed by his patience and allowing it to save me. Maybe my sardonic coments, constant corrections, proneness to confront others without prayer or without truly desiring their good as the outcome, argumentativeness, over-criticism of authorities, insubordinate rudeness and subversive divisiveness when I feel  like being bratty and when I'm just living life in general--maybe this aspect of my human identity is the thorn in my side. It is in this area that I am weakest and least able to shine for Jesus, radiating God's glory like a star in the universe (Philippians 2:15-16). But God says, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness: Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)."

 

God has been so good to me in the past couple of weeks. I have realized that he has been pruning me like crazy throughout this trip. At times I have been overwhelmed and frustrated, but God has shown me that all of those things have been so necessary to lead me into what he has for me. He had to break me down and cleanse my heart of a few things before he could show me what he has for me. Now, I'm beginning to see all that the future could hold. I believe that God is calling me to work with handicapped children. I don't know how, but that is what God has really spoken into me in the past couple of days. I also believe that God is calling me to disciple youth, and I also have no clue what that looks like. The one thing I do know is that HE KNOWS ME!! I find so much comfort in that. He set me apart... ME!! How lucky am I that he wants to use me? How lucky am I that he loves me so much? I am so blessed! That's where I am right now. My heart is bursting. My heart is yearning for everything that is in store. My heart is crying out. I know the journey from here will be beautiful no matter where I go because I know that God will be holding my hand and walking right beside me. God has lifted me out of my brokenness, and I can't wait to come home and share that with everyone. Most of all, I can't wait learn more and more about God's calling on my life.

 

"There is so much I want to tell you, but you can't bear it now. When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth... He will tell you about the future."  John 16:12

 

 

   I just want to praise God right now . I never thought that God could use me to bless people or to spread his love. He is such a suprising and BEAUTIFUL God. God is pouring out so many different things in each and every one of us. We had a talk last night about what fruits we think God is blessing us more in, and it was so sweet to see the fruit God is building up.

   God is my rock. He is making me trust him. I never thought I would be forced into trust, but sure enough I have to trust God throughout my days. It is so rewarding. I don't even wear socks anymore because God has blown them all off. I used to box Him up, but there is no possible way my BIG GOD can be boxed. He is a God of Healing. He is a God of love. He is a pruning God. He is a patient God. I am just digging every bit of my Abba Father. I am having more than a good time here. Praise be to God!!!!!!!!!!!1 

 

   

   Well, just because she told me not to blog and call her that, I want to make this blog about my adorable leader, Becca.

 

   She is just the grandest, BUT.. only when the sun goes down. Becca has split personalities I believe. In the morning when we start our day, she is a drill sargeant. She is so so strict and serious.

 

By the end of the day when the sun is fading, she is an actual peer of mine. She laughs, she jokes, she is a grand friend.

 

I love her to death. Jesus, Harold, and her are definately what is holding us together.

 

By the way she is not that bad. I just pick on her about it..

 

 

 

LOVE YA BEKKY

 

This has become my prayer especially in the past week. God has been revealing himself to me in so many ways. For the past year of my life, I have been trying to figure everything out for myself-- my future plans and all that that includes. It threw me into a huge pit of brokenness that I had a hard time getting out of. Being here in Africa, I have found how important surrender is. Life is so much easier when I surrender all that I am and all that I want to be to God. He's just waiting for me saying, "I have so much more for you." I can just see Him with arms open waiting for me to turn around and run.

 

I so I have decided to take off running. There's nothing wrong with sprinting, and it's taken me so long because I have had a lack of trust, trust that God's plans are better than my own. Also, I've always viewed surrender as something that has to happen in one huge moment, and then if my worry comes back, I beat myself up for it. But Becca said one night during teaching last week that Surrender is an every day decision. And I have found that to be so true. This week I have been conciously trying to surrender my plans for my future and my worry to God every day before I even get started, and it has been amazing. I feel such a peace. I still have no clue what the future holds exactly, but I do know who holds it. It is so freeing. I look back and ask myself "What took you so long?"

 

One morning this week God gave me a huge encouragement during my quiet time:

1 John 3:20-- God is greater than our feelings.

 

So when I'm feeling that I'm horrible for not being able to let go of something I'm trying to surrender and when I don't feel like I'm good enough to do great works for God, He is bigger than all of that. There's nothing I can do or think to stop the plans that he has for me.

 

What freedom there is in surrender...

 

   America's Birthday is today, and i am not even there to celebrate with my lady liberty, but the funny thing is...... I don't want to. This place is fantabulous!! The people here are so sweet its crazy. I love everyone here in Jbay. The kids are what i love the most here.

 

   It is so funny, because all of the children fight, but yet when I get one on one time with them they are the sweetest kids in the land. Just today, Mr. Tough Guy, which is a 9 year old little black african named Ra Ra ( roll the R), came up to me today right after he got done picking at his peers, and he sat in my lap and told me that I was his father. His friend , Lumpy, asked Ra Ra , " Why are you black and he his white?" Ra Ra answered, " We are just different, but yet we are one". It was like the deepest thing I have ever heard a child say. From then on I carried this little prince around all day. He weighs a good 80 pounds, but I felt such a bond with him. I sat down with him still in my arms and began to cry, because he had fallen asleep in my arms. It was then i realized that his father really had not showed him any kind of love whatsoever towards him. I thanked God so much for the opportunity to hold Ra Ra.

 

   God is using us all in so many ways. I am finding more and more who I am in Him, but yet of course I am still as crazy as a chicken with its head cut off ( by the way i did eat chicken head). I love, love , love my God. Through these people and children I am seeing Jesus every time my eye is open. I have realized that even when i feel that i am doing nothing, I am ministering. Jesus is using me no matter what i do, I am just so happy that God's glory is being shown each and everyday. Whether it be healings, or just a smile, Jesus is showing himself. I love it. I cannot even express what I feel. The Power of God is so so strong. I just can't help but praise Him.

    I can't believe that we've been here a month! There have definitely been some pretty crazy/awesome memories so far...star tipping, eating a chicken's foot (more like a toe for me), marveling at God's beautiful creation (this place is GORGEOUS), and so many more...everything has been amazing, but the relationships that are being formed here stick out the most and have and will make the most impact.

    The past few weeks we've been working with the beautiful ladies from On Eagle's Wings (a ministry to help domestic abuse victims) and in the afternoons with the children from Joshua Project. At first these kids seemed so rough and crazy, but as they get to know and trust you, you begin to see the precious children that they are. Sometimes I might be breaking up two boys fighting over a game they're playing, and then a few minutes later I'll find that same 9 year old boy walk up to me and without a word jump in my arms to be held for a while. They may seem tough, but they are so full of life and just want to be loved (and they're hilarious and tons of fun as well!).

     Some of the older girls have taught me a thing or two about love as well. One girl in particular is a ten year old named Jenna. This bright and beautiful child just shines with love and understanding way beyond her years. When I talk to her, I forget that I'm speaking with a ten year old who's first language is one different than mine and was born half a world away. Instead, it's just another person who I love, dreaming about a better world full of love and peace. Although I hope to keep in contact with at least her and her friend Jodie, my prayer is that others will come into her life and pour into her as she continues to reach after Jesus. And with His love in her, I know He has some crazy plans in store for her life.

     My ministry team and I (the 5 of us) have also had the privilege of getting to spend time with a lady who works at a coffee shop across the street from the Joshua Project. Her name is Mama Mirial. We've prayed together, laughed, eaten South African food (no chicken heads or feet here), and gotten to hear stories about her family. She also just recently told us with tears in her eyes that we are becoming like daughters to her. Some of these relationships I'm starting to think are ministering more to me than vice versa.

     God's definitely been revealing to me recently how universal His love is. Whether young or old, different ethnicities, languages, and backgrounds, God's love breaks down walls and brings people together. I'm excited to be apart of it.