The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed, a refuge in times
of trouble. Those who know your name trust in you, for you, O Lord, so not
abandon those who search for you.
Psalms 9:9-10
I went into the hospital expecting the surgery would heal my
scoliosis and the pain that it brought. I looked forward to the pain and
limitations of scoliosis no longer having an effect on my life. However, I
woke up groggy, sore, and unfixed. The doctors could not complete the surgery,
and I later had major complications that left me in the hospital for a total of
five weeks. The whole experience lasted three months, two of those months I
could only eat foods that were fat free, sugar free, and clear liquids. I had
two major and two minor surgeries and some pretty impressive scars. I still
have scoliosis and all the problems that come along with it, including a
pitched nerve. I went in with a dream of being healed, and I walked out with being
healed in a completely different way. I expected to have my physically body
healed, but God healed my heart. He showed me what love really is and how much
I am really loved. I am a servant at heart; I experience great joy and energy
from helping others. However, sometimes I feel unnoticed and unappreciated. I
felt unseen and unloved, my worth as a person was wrapped up in the things that
I did for other people. Many people came and visited me while I was in the
hospital; I received many cards, flowers, and calls from people around the
world. For the first time, I felt loved for who I am not for what I do. God
took my shatter heart and put all the pieces back together, as if it were brand
new. He taught me that I am loved, by Him and others. I am valued for who I am
and what I do. I am beautiful and complete in Him. My body may not be whole but
my heart is. Doctors and medicine and help a broken body, but only God can heal
a broken heart. He is the only one that can completely heal a heart. We can
patch it up, but He heals and restores. I believe in the complete healing of
the body and heart that only God can bring. One day, my body will be whole, but
for now, I stand complete and whole in Him. He offers His complete healing to
whoever is willing to accept it. Just give yourself completely to Him and He
will bring healing, His complete healing.
