Somedays I fee like I’m on a rollercoaster. One day I may
be cruising up hill with the wind in my hair and a smile on my face, and others
I may be plunging straight down losing my stomach. Whenever I start to feel
like I’m unworthy of this relationship I’m in with Jesus, I try to remember a
couple conversations I once had…
A few summers ago
I was sitting on a rocking chair at a camp in North Carolina. As a camper, I
was sitting beside my leader Ame,
talking and watching kids go down the zip line. She was talking to me about my
relationship with Jesus. The truth is,
at the time there wasn’t much of one. I didn’t feel like I deserved this
intimate relationship everyone kept talking about. I wasn’t ready to give up my
style of living and enter the phenomenally better life that Jesus had to offer.
I doubted that God could really love me because of my past and present. I felt
unworthy and lacked the faith that God could overcome my shortcomings.
As I was telling her some of my fears, she looked at me
and said “Kylie, you don’t have to be perfect to go running into His arms.
Jesus loves and wants you JUST the way you are. Leave the rest to Him.” That
night I was sitting on top of a hill, staring at the stars. As I was fighting
with God and coming up with every reason that I didn’t deserve this
relationship, the greatest peace I’ve ever known fell over me. As this
happened, I heard and I FELT those words that God had spoken through Ame,
“Kylie, I love you JUST the way you are.”
That night changed my life, and I soon realized that
Jesus is way better at fixing lives than we are. No matter our messy past or
daily struggles, God’s grace is sufficient. If our God is big enough to move
mountains, He’s big enough to overcome our problems. So when I’m starting to go
down that rollercoaster, I try to remember that Jesus is in control, and He
loves us and wants us JUST the way we are.
